i know we have been through ups and downs, as friends and more, never reaching that "place" that i wish it would have. i have to be cruel to you in order to push you away. i can't be in this place with you anymore where i can't have more of you. i feel too deeply, and care too much. i wish i could erase the parts of my life that involve you, so that i may never have any regrets or sadness. i am now in search of a purposeless and shallow relationship, because i can never again care to the extent that i did for you. it's not your fault, it's mine. i trusted and had faith, and didn't have foresight. i stayed blind longer than i should have and let you take advantage of me, hoping that wasn't the case. oh well. i still love you, but i'm trying not to. letting pieces go every day. hopefully one day there will be nothing left. please stop talking to me. i can't take it anymore. it's mean.