Hi you're all awesome apart from the stupid sheep i hate sheep and geese are poopy too

i want a best friend. all my other friends have a closer friend and i just want someone like in the books.

I want to speak out to everyone, but its so hard to do so. I want to tell everyone everything. I want to do something everyday that at the end of the day the people will remember me and smile

I think people should smile more. There are all kinds of smiles. I have three types. The fake smile, used when I am doing something I don't want to do, like go to work. The real smile that pops up when I am genuinely happy and doing something I enjoy, like enjoying a good joke or a sweet gesture. Then there is the sex smile, which I have never seen for myself but have been told about it. That smile is pure bliss. Smile people.

Will my neighbour kindly return my mother's underwear please? We are going jean shopping and I fear for the next customer trying on jeans.

The key to happiness is experiences. The crazier, the better.

Wives, have sex with your husbands please. I have seen it time and time again. After women get married, a lot of them stop giving out and then get so surprised when the guy strays. Don't get me wrong, there are many men who would stray anyway but I know some really nice guys who are almost forced to stray due to desperation. It is kind of cruel. What are the men supposed to do? What did you expect? The women never get it though and I am forced to pretend to be shocked when news of their husband's betrayal is discovered. It gets old. So wives, be kind to your man and give out; don't worry you might just like it. It is the kindest thing to do.

Yur a wizard. Yur a fireball wielding wizard. Yehhh.

Everyone is worthy of love and respect.

If I ever decide to be Catholic, the priest is going to have to take the whole afternoon to hear my confession.